Just... Unhappy

So I cheated yesterday. Marc told me not to, but I couldn't help myself. I peed on a stick. And it wasn't a cheap one either (the cheap ones required me to pee into a cup first and use a dropper to drop some pee onto a specific area - WTH kind of test are these?!?). It was a $10 one. And it was negative.

I did it first thing yesterday morning thinking that at 11dpIUI I might get an answer. I am now just sad.

I feel like I'm getting menstrual cramps, which means no BFP. My boobs are still a little sore, but overall I'm not thinking this worked and I'm pretty bummed out. I know its stupid to be bummed, because this was our first IUI and the chances of it actually working were low. I was just hoping. I felt like I had decent side effects and that that meant that something good was happening. Now, I realize that it's probably just residual meds and I'm all hormonal.

I feel like crying. Yay for PMS!

I think I'll test again on Sunday morning just to be sure I'm negative. I have the beta Monday morning, and I'd rather know before they call me at work and tell me I'm not pregnant. What a sucky, sucky day. And Monday won't be better.

I wish my beta were today so I could go and drink my misery away this weekend. I'm so not looking forward to telling the few people who know about this that it was negative.