Whew. Ok.

So, first and foremost, everything is fine. The babies are fine. "Very active" quoted the frustrated u/s tech who spent a half hour pushing and jiggling and having me turn this way and that way to try to get measurements. We don't get the official blood results back until Wednesday, but everything was (unofficially) fine. We're planning on sharing the news after Wednesday, assuming all is good news. Because, Saturday is officially the start of the second trimester. Hells yes. 13w3d. Today is 12w5d. So close. So mother fucking close. I just know that when I actually get there this weekend there's going to be this weird anti-climactic feeling, but I don't care. And no 'sex' news. At the beginning of the scan the tech said she'd try to see if she could tell, but by the end, she had given up and was like: Nope - not happening.

Last night was a mess. After the earlier post we went to the grocery store. I got hungry. Immediately ravenous, I should say. I get hungry very quickly and if I don't eat soon, I start to get nauseous and nothing sounds good. And then I get a headache. So I got hungry and waited too long to eat and got very emotional about today and cried and cried and cried about it all. M was no help because he was a un-compassionate jerk yesterday (this could be the hormones, as he was pretty confused last night when we talked all this over). I ate, ignored M the rest of the evening and was in bed, reading by 9:00. I read an entire book. I have no idea how late I stayed up, I just wasn't tired enough to fall asleep immediately, which was my whole goal. I hate laying in bed, unable to sleep because I have 1000000000000 thoughts racing through my head. And this usually happens when I have a scan the next day. I get so anxious. And nervous. Anyway, so last night was pretty horrible. I did sleep, although I had nightmares about the book I was reading (should have known better to read a gruesome murder mystery before bed).

Today has been immensely better. I think, in addition to the crazy hormones that basically had be so upset about food, I just needed a good cry. Before the scan I went to Ulta and bought a Smashbox makeup kit (total waste of money as I've worn makeup twice in the last month, but I used a birthday gift card and I'm a total makeup junkie), then had lunch with M, had the scan, then had lunch #2, then went to BRU that is going out of business near us and spent way too much money on gender neutral things and stuff for my little sis who is having a baby boy in January (or me - is that wrong?), and then went to Target and bought a Cheesecake Factory cheesecake. Which I'll be popping open in a few. So yes. Today = much better day. (Hmmmmmm.... cheesecake.... droooooolllllll....)

Tomorrow I have a dentist appointment (fun!) and then Wednesday we go back to make sure everything is kosher. I'm super excited to tell my family and friends about the little ones on the way and feel so much better about everything. M keeps double checking that I'm not getting all freaked out about something else now. I told him that I just wanted a bump now. Not to be super-fat whale-girl, but to look like I'm actually going to have a baby. Pics to come as soon as we upload them. (We got a DVD of pics - so cool!)

Look ma! We're like real babies! We even look like babies instead of weird blob things!

I tried to get the best pictures of each of them... the problem being that you very well could be looking at Baby A in both side pics because some of the pics were labeled and some weren't... or we could pretend that I got each of them in their glory and look how cute they are. (Also, yes I suck at consistent cropping.)

Nervous

So, so nervous. And anxious. And nervous.

Tomorrow is our NT scan. Between being terrified that something has happened to one or both of them, to worrying about what the test could reveal... today is not so good. Less than 24 hours to go. I wouldn't even post this, but, well, its all a part of the journey, I guess. I wish I had had another scan earlier. It feels like it was so far away.

But I'm going to try not to think about it too much. M doesn't like it when I start stressing out and just wants me to relax and be happy. And I am! But today, I'm a wreck about tomorrow.

A Fascinating "Milestone" I'm Sure You Couldn't Live Without Knowing

*Warning: gross content ahead*

I barfed this morning. A real, honest-to-goodness, spent-five-minutes gagging and retching all my stomach acid out with tears running down my face into the kitchen sink barf. (Don't judge; the kitchen sink was the closet throw-up acceptable place.) (I say don't judge because as I'm telling M this he's all eewwwwww! The kitchen sink! Why didn't you use the toliet? and is all judgey.)

Anyway, so my barfing is all the dog's fault. For the first time in... well, a long time, we had an accident of the Number Two variety. And I had to clean it up. I was fine... until I picked it up and put it in the bag (and my mouth is feeling all gaggy just thinking about it now) and then I had to dash to the kitchen sink and puke. And it was disgusting and burned the back of my throat and uck. And I know I shouldn't complain because oh-my-god I've been so lucky as to not actually have to do that everyday, but it was gross and reminded me of how much I hate throwing up and how lucky I've been.

And so then I opened the back door to help air out the odor and let a bunch of mosquitoes in, for which I got another grumpy comment about spraying air freshener. Yeah, because with my heightened sense of smell, smelling crap underneath fake-smelling spray is REALLY going to help. Good call there.

So, that was my morning. And then I went and ate blueberry pancakes with my brother. And M was jealous as he should have been for not being as impressed by the "milestone" this morning as I deem to be apropos. (According to him, he almost throws up dealing with that so its not a big deal. To which I say, yeah, but you haven't and I did, even though I've never after cleaning that up before, and you can go suck it.) And that's what he gets.

Your fetus currently enjoys a 1:1 ratio between body and head, and has skin so transparent that blood vessels show right through. But, fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and hair follicles, tooth buds and nail beds are forming -- setting up a significantly more attractive future.

11 weeks. Counting down to the end of the first trimester. I can't wait. So here's the obligatory weekly check in.

How far along? 11 weeks 2 days

Total weight gain/loss: Blissfully ignorant of this

Maternity clothes? I bought jeans! Motherhood has tall jeans for only $35! After seeing the ugly, short Kohl's jeans for $56, I didn't hesitate to buy them.

Stretch marks? Or bruises; no. Although, the side of my ass/hip is kinda numb. And I still have some redness.

Sleep: I can finally sleep a little on my side, but its more stomach/side, rather than side/side. I still wake up on my back and I still have some issues falling asleep at times. And I still wake up at least twice a night to pee.

Best moment this week: Um... buying the jeans?

Movement: My stomach rumbles a whole lot. My digestive system is all screwy right now, so that's where the most movement is coming from.

Food cravings: Not really. M was surprised that I'm ok with chicken... we'll see.. I don't know how common it is to have that aversion, or when it's common to have it.

Gender: No idea, although I'm hoping the u/s tech will be able to give us a good idea at the NT scan.

Labor/Symptom Signs: My biggest symptom is the food issue. Ugh. Food. I eat and feel fine. Then an hour later I'm burping and feeling completely nauseous. And my stomach is all rumbly and ucky. And the after taste in my mouth after eating and the burping... its bitter and sour and gross. And makes me want to throw up. I actually threw up in my mouth a little bit last night. The closest I've come to actually barfing. I'm still sleeping a lot; close to 12 hours a night, so I don't nap and don't feel completely exhausted during the day, until 6 o'clock when I start yawning. I still get tired. I still have lots of discharge. My nips are still sensitive. But other than that, I wake up and wonder if I really am pregnant. Because until I eat, I'm just unsure. At times I just don't feel any different than normal. And then I'll get a hot flash or snap at M or be starving and think, ok, well, this is a good sign.

What I miss: Soda, although I had my first in about two and a half months the other day. It was wonderful. And Subway. I really want a sandwich right now.

What I am looking forward to: Seeing the babies and seeing the heartbeats and seeing everything be good and normal and healthy. I get anxious when I think about it, so I try to block it out. But, it's nerve wracking and I'm so worried one of them will have something be wrong... agh... I'm not thinking about it.

Weekly Wisdom: Um... treat others as you want to be treated... ? I don't know what to put here.

Milestones: In two days I will be under 200 days until EDD!

I Suck... 10w0d

With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, baby is making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. (Soon, legs will too.)

So first can I just say... today is 10 weeks!!! The second major mini-milestone (after seeing heartbeats) I've been waiting for. And second... yes I suck. I haven't updated in a while. I would get annoyed with other blogs for not updating (especially the pg people's ones I'd go stalk to see how their week was measuring up to mine) and now I'm one of them. But at least I can say that I understand now. I've just been waiting for 10 weeks. And hoping nothing bad happens. So unless I wanted to constantly update with my complete neurotic-ness (which, I know is annoying based on M's reaction to it) there really isn't much else to say.

How far along? 10w0d.. Still so early...

Total weight gain/loss: Haven't really gained anything (which you wouldn't know by the way my clothes don't fit. I was in shock when I was weighed - M thinks the scale was lying to be nice to pg women).

Maternity clothes? No. But I am always wearing elastic, leggings, or cullots/gauchos. My jeans don't fit. Most of my other pants don't fit. I have a couple of work pants that were really big on me before that are now quite snug. But they work for 'formal' things for now.

Stretch marks? Um, no. Could this be bruises instead? Because then, hells yes. Ass/hip and stomach. Love those needles.

Sleep: Is a struggle. Sleeping on my back is best. Sleeping on my side doesn't feel good.

Best moment this week: Well, technically that will be tomorrow, when I don't have to have a PIO shot. I had my last one this morning. My ass/hip is numb, bruised and has red welts all over it, so not having anymore shots in that area will be total bliss.

Movement: Well, since its WAY too early for me to feel anything, this week it was awesome to see one of the babies twitching (M doesn't like that - he says dancing because it sounds better)

Food cravings: None, really.

Gender: I'm hoping for one of each.

Pregnancy (Labor) Signs: (I wish there was a strike through option; instead of labor I'm opting for this to mean symptoms because that's what relevant right now.) This is where the neurotic-ness kicks in. My boobs hurt one day, not the next. My nips are sensitive. I've had some weird pulling right above my pubic bone this week (like when I walk). My back hurts off and on. Some food still tastes weird. Nausea comes and goes. If I overeat, I'm absolutely miserable. Nauseous and bloated. I still get hungry often. Lots of discharge down there (which leads to lots of pantie checking). Gagging and dry heaving in the morning from phlegm. I sneeze a lot. Gagging at night when I brush my teeth. Getting up to pee at least twice at night. Every time we go anywhere I freeze. I get really cold and goosebumpy. My boobs have not gotten bigger. I think that's it... (could there be any more, lol?)

What I miss: soda

What I am looking forward to: Our NT scan, Sept 28, with follow up regular appointment on the 30th. Just a couple days after that, M's birthday; I'll be just over 13 weeks then. Those are my next major mini milestones. Also, showing. I can't wait to get a bump. Then maybe I'll actually believe that I'm pregnant. Whereas now, it's still hard to believe.

Milestones: We had the first real OB GYN appointment last Friday. It was weird, being amongst all the normalness. I was happy to hear that my doctor would most likely deliver me and I would get more attention later on, because I'm having twins. (I'm so speshul...)

The appointment last Friday went well, both babies looked great, both hearts beating away and some movement from one. I really like the staff at the new doctor and the doctor herself was nice and no-nonsense, which I appreciate. I didn't like the office decor (at all) but what does that matter, really? We got the whole new patient package, including a book, planner, some prescription PNV samples and some nice info sheets of what meds I can take and other informative stuff. (Gee, wonder why they're called info sheets.) We also got another picture, this time with both of them side by side.

*Also, I so wrote this yesterday but didn't want to jinx myself. So I waited to post it and then changed everything from 9w6d to 10w0d. (dorkus maximus over here)

**And also, has anyone else had bad dreams while pg? I keep dreaming I find blood in my underwear (takes no dream analyzer to figure that one out) but it scares me every time... I'd like a happy dream for once.