Friday, March 19, 2010

Ok... Now What

So we have a plan. Am being induced Wednesday. Today is Friday. Things... feel a little different. I have almost constant back ache. I have more contractions, but mostly non-painful ones (believe me I'm not complaining about that) that don't feel productive. I mean, I think they're supposed to hurt and the tightening I feel when I get up don't really count. I have more painful contractions when I have painful contractions. And they're in my back and stomach and are painful to distraction. They really kill my back. They bring me fully awake and make me feel somewhat restless. But nothing... regular. No water breaking. It hurts like hell just to stand, so I've been on my ass all day. But the waiting. The analyzing every feeling, every difference, like - could this be it? Am I going into labor? And then... nothing. It is slightly reminiscent of the 2ww - What does this feeling mean? Could it be?

Ugh. I am driving myself batty. When is this going to happen? What is it going to be like? Will I end up with a section? Will the babies be ok? I just wish something would happen. Although the thought of going through everything freaks me out... but at least once it starts, it'll be over soon. And I'll know that everything is ok, that I'm ok and that the babies are ok.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Great 36w6d Appointment!

We had a growth scan and the babies are doing well!

I'm dilated 1-2cm (yay, progress!). If nothing happens by next Wednesday, we induce (yay, end in sight! And! A plan!). Babies measured 7lbs 3oz and 7lbs, although according to the u/s tech, she subtracts 8 oz off each because they're twins and likely to be smaller, so really they're measuring larger... (whatever the hell that means - we had a new lady we've never had before and she was highly annoying. High voice and talked to us like we were three, was the only one who hasn't let me go pee before the scan, and... acted like she was on her tenth cup of coffee).

My OB came in and said well it looks like you've got about 15 pounds of baby in you; so that's what I'm going with; she also said I have a large amount of amniotic fluid, which can make the babies look larger than they are on a scan. Baby Boy has dropped even lower. I lost five pounds (yay!) from the ten pound spurt I had from last week (I had gained ten in a week, but the nurse said it was water retention... I sure as hell hope so). BP was ok (130/88 or something - getting a little high) and I'm still swole like the hulk. We go back next Tuesday, if nothing has happened to check on things and, I guess, to firm up inducing-type things.

And this was posted on the boards, and made me laugh, so I'm copying it here.

The Top 15 Stupid Things People Say to Parents of Twins
15. “I could never do it.” (Oh really. What would you do? Are you suggesting I put them on the curb with signs around their necks that say, “Free to a good home. My mom can’t do it.”?)
14. “Do they have different personalities?” (No. They are the same human being divided into two parts.)
13. Said by a stranger, “They’re identical, right?” Mom answers, “No. They’re fraternal.” Stranger response, “They are NOT!” (OK. You’re right. I have no idea what I’m talking about. These are not my children. I thought it would be fun to borrow them from a mom down at Baby Gap. It’s been more than an hour. I guess I should return them.)
12. “Are they ‘paternal’ twins?” (Yes. They have a father. There was only one virgin birth.)
11. “Just wait till they’re older. It only gets harder.” (Thank you. I woke up this morning hoping I’d receive a word of discouragement while pushing a cart of preschoolers down the cereal aisle.)
10. “When one cries, does he wake the other?” (No. Twins cannot hear each other’s cries because they all communicate with their special telepathic language only.)
9. From a perfect stranger: “Were they in the same sac?” (Hello. Nice to meet you, too. Will you be sharing your gynecological history with me as well?)
8. “Are they developmentally behind?” (Well, let’s see. They’re 3 years old and thus far, all their graduate school applications have been denied. We’ll get back with you on that.)
7. “How do you do it?” (Haven’t you seen the Nike commercials?)
6. Said by a dentist: “I was shocked that they didn’t have the same bite patterns.” (They are two different human beings, not clones.)
5. “You must be SO busy.” (Are you volunteering to clean my house?)
4. Said to a mom of fraternal twins who are different sizes, have different eye color and different face structure: “How do you tell them apart?” (I just look at them.)
3. “What do you do when they both cry at the same time?” (Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I go to Starbucks.)
2. Said to a mom of boy/girl twins: “Are they identical?” (Uh. Not exactly. One has a penis)
1. Only one comment could be voted No. 1. The choice was clear. Drum roll, please. After a stranger had been informed that the toddler boys were twins, she asked a simple question: “Are they brothers?” (Enough said.)

Thursday, March 11, 2010


How far along? 36w 1d
Total weight gain/loss: :'( My goal to stay at a 40 pound weight gain has been... unsuccessful. I'm so sad. In the last week I gained ten pounds. TEN! The nurse said it was water retention (which is quite evident in my swollen ass feet) but it makes me sad. I was so proud of myself until yesterday.
Maternity clothes? All the time.
Stretch marks? Getting more and more daily. They go from hip to hip and are now spreading up my stomach. I look like I've been attacked by some feral cat-like animal. Since I'm redheaded and pale as fuck, the stretch marks are bright red/deep purple. It sucks.
Sleep: Depends on the day. I sleep sometimes. I'm tired all the time... I'm always uncomfortable, so it's hard to sleep for long periods of a time. Or longer than an hour at a time.
Best moment this week: Watching the babies try to kick off the Doppler's during the NST. It was hilarious. They were better this week, but last week we had to hold down the Doppler's to make sure they stayed in place to get readings. This week they were more well-behaved but still super active.
Movement: It depends on the time - sometimes they're super active, sometimes they don't hardly move at all and all I get is pressure.
Food cravings: No. I have to stay away from salt and I need to stay away from sugar. I've been drinking juice like its going out of style, but now I need to be careful what with the sugar.
Gender: Still one of each!
Labor Signs: Contractions have become more frequent, but that's about it.
What I miss: Knowing what its like to be comfortable. I miss my old feet and legs. And sleep.
What I am looking forward to: Our next growth scan next Tuesday and seeing what position they're in and how big they are.
Milestones: I made it to 36 weeks!

Monday, March 8, 2010

A Little Bit of Freaking Out

The babies. They could come now. Anytime now.


And what am I going to do with two newborns besides not sleep? This is me a little freaked out. About labor (I mean I know they have to come out somehow, but... it still scares the crap out of me. Will I ever be ready?) About once they come home. It's all going to be so different. And I'm still waiting on stuff I need. Thanks, Am.azon for your free shipping which takes forever. I need those sheets! I can't buy the twin bassinet sheets at the store, at least not any store I've looked in. And there are still things to be done. And the breast feeding - how will I do that? My boobs and nipples are so sensitive. So Sensitive. And, you know, it wouldn't be the first time my body has failed me (hello IF!) so, should I be surprised if there's something wrong with my boobs? And I'm still sick. I've been taking Sudafed, but it hasn't kicked this thing's butt.

And I'm going to be a mom. What if the babies don't like me? What if I don't feel super connected to them? I don't feel as though I've bonded with them a lot (and this is my own fault, as I've kept myself guarded in case something bad happened during the pregnancy) but now I'm worried about after they get here and I don't feel... connected to them. I mean, they're new little people to get to know. What if I don't fall immediately in love with them? Will they love me? Will I be a bad mom? And as miserable as I sometimes am as a pregnant person, I'm going to miss them moving around in me. And I'm going to miss being pregnant. And I still don't have a coming home outfit for them. What should I dress them in? Long sleeves? Do I really need one?

Ugh. The freak out continues.