Wednesday, May 26, 2010

New Name

So I have officially changed the name of my blog. I was trying to come up with something that sounded like my old title 'My Life in Limbo' but was the opposite of being 'in limbo'. I don't think I found anything especially clever, but the new title seems to fit pretty well.

The twins are two months old. Tomorrow they go in for their first round of vaccinations. I'm slightly worried about these; how the babies will feel and behave after them. But, otherwise the babies are doing well. H has some head-shape issues that I hope we can talk about and get resolved... I know it's a problem, but it is impossible to get him to sleep on the side of his head - he moves it. And I have those head shaping pillow things, but they aren't supposed to sleep in those, so... ? There's only so much I can do.

The babies are officially in their nursery now, which is nice. I don't know that we sleep a ton better, its more like we make a lot more trips up the stairs. They're sleeping pretty well - we even got a few seven hour stretches recently. I'd say their biggest sleep deterrent is gas. And mylicon isn't the savior I'd hoped for. It helps, but not in a 'OMG its gone!' type way that you hope for at 2am.

My boobs have had issues though. I have an infection in the left one; a clogged duct that wouldn't go away developed into a raging infection. I never felt bad (like I've heard people with mastitis feel) but the skin turned red and warm. I had an ultrasound and they found abscesses, which were attacked with antibiotics, then determined to be need to be drained (OUCH!) and attacked with another round of antibiotics... and now, a week after the draining, there is still a small lump and the surface of my skin is still pink. I need to call and see what they want me to do as my antibiotics are about to run out. I just wish this would go away.

Thursday, May 13, 2010


Funny Faces

One Month!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Life Since

The babies will be 6 weeks old tomorrow. And since then my life has been all about milk. Seriously and literally. From the day the babies were born my main concerns have been about supply and clogged ducts and the schedule. The good: pumping and breast feeding got me into pre-pregnancy (fat) jeans two weeks post partum and was below my first OB appointment weight (I was ~9 weeks) by 4 weeks post partum. It's hard to believe I lost 50 pounds in less than a month.

Of course my body is now completely different, something BFing and pumping will never help me with. My stomach is riddled with stretch marks, from hip to hip and even some over my now stretched out belly button. My body is now completely different. The consistency of my stomach, the shape of my figure... I knew it would change, but I had no idea how much. It's a good thing I don't plan on being in a swimsuit this summer. I still want to lose more weight, but I need to start exercising to regain some muscle. Going through fertility treatments makes it hard to exercise. And sitting on the couch for the last 9 months or so is no good for muscle tone; needless to say, I've lost a lot of it. Getting it back will suck, but being flabby sucks more.

The bad: The pain. Clogged ducts - suck. And hurt. My nipples are still incredibly sore. My breasts are sore. I wake up in the middle of the night to pump because my breasts hurt. I can't wait until this gets easier. My back is also the other casualty of my boobs. I was always generously endowed, but they've gotten bigger and are hurting my back. Of course, I'm not sure how much is just my back trying to get back into good form after carrying 15 pounds around on my belly. I'm proud of myself to have made it this far with breastfeeding/pumping, but man. It hasn't been a fun journey.

At least the babies are doing well. They are amazing. They're both gaining weight (last weigh in last week put H at 10 pounds 5.5 ounces and Z at 9 lbs 5.5 oz) and sleeping (knock on wood) pretty well. Their chief complaint (and mine) is gas. Man, oh man, having gas as a baby sucks. Big time. I know it could be a lot worse, but I feel bad for them because they seem to be in such pain.

The schedule we started doing from the day we brought them home is still in effect. And working well for us. I mean, I wish I could get more sleep, but I'm getting more than I thought I would, which is very nice. It goes a little something like this:

10am: Diaper change, feed and awake time. They're usually up for about an hour, then back to bed.
1pm: Diaper change, feed and awake time. Back to sleep after an hour or so.
4pm: Diaper change, feed and awake time. Back to sleep after an hour or so.
7pm: Diaper change, feed and straight to bed.
10pm: Diaper change feed and straight to bed.
Middle of the night: We let them dictate what time they wake up... it's usually between 2 and 3am. Then we change diapers, feed and put them back to bed.
6am: Diaper change, feed and straight to bed.

We're flexible with the schedule, adjusting it as things get pushed or moved. The longer sleep times during the night get bigger bottles with the feedings. I pump every time they eat, and try to nurse them once a day, which substitutes a feeding and a pump. And, of course, we haven't been perfect and the schedule has been shot to hell, but most days it works and we try to keep it as a guideline.

Being the only person during the day to take care of them has been hard - especially in the beginning. Taking care of them, and remembering to take care of myself... (little to no milk if I don't eat, don't sleep or am stressed, as I learned the hard way). But it's gotten easier. It was quite a shock to the system but I've (sadly) gotten used to one baby crying. I hate it, but sometimes it just has to happen. I've been incredibly spoiled and fortunate to have a wonderful mother-in-law who stayed with us the first two weeks after we brought the babies home. She cleaned for us, cooked for us and helped me with babies when M had to start working again. We've also been fortunate that M has been able to work from home most days, until now.

Sorry for the lack of pictures and stories - I mainly wanted to get something on record here... it's not cute or funny, but there it is.

Some bragging:
H had held up his own bottle, numerous times, from his first week home.
H has had awesome head control... and Z is getting better and better.
Z has peed on me more than H
H once peed over his own head onto our bed (thanks M for changing him on the bed)
Z had explosive diarrhea onto M's hand.. he yelled for me that he had an emergency lol
Z smiles randomly and every once in a while has made cooing noises. They're so sweet. M got one when he stroked her cheek. I haven't gotten one yet and am incredibly jealous.