Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Way TMI :::warning:::

But...

I can't poop! WTF? I've been eating like shit all week (yesterday fettuccine alfredo for lunch and the leftovers for dinner) today a muffin, mini burger from Sonic, chips and queso and enchiladas, rice and beans, light ice cream (cuz you know I don't need those calories) with hot fudge and a couple twizzlers. Yeah. Am big fatzo. And feel like big fatzo. And yesterday pooped very easily after lunch, then nothing after dinner. It was difficult. I felt last night and feel today like I need to but can't. And I'm taking my wheat grass! That stuff really helps things along. Not since yesterday afternoon unfortunately. *whine* This sucks... I'm not even on any medicines... I want to poooo-ooop... :( I need to eat better. That may help. But come on wheat grass! Work your intestinal magic!

I bought my baby aspirin and scared the shit out of a nurse (let's call her S) over at the clinic. I called and basically bombarded her with questions (only four, really) and now I have another and I really want to call her again and scare her again. I'm evil heeheehee...
The first: I was wondering if my luteal phase was short because after the med. cycles, I never make it to beta - I always start the period 3-4 days early. So, short LP. I thought that may account for something? Apparently not since its medicated... hmm.. will possibly post and ask to get other expert opinions...
Second: I wanted to have it marked in my chart that I would like to stim for longer this cycle than the last. A "low and slow" approach. I was told that they start me at one unit (75ius) and that is low. So, there you go. Humph. I will then be requesting that I stay low when they bump me up.
The third: What do they look for before testing for the Beta-3 integrin? Except I totally murdered what it's actually called (I called it the endometrial intigin 3 biopsy) and she told me she had no idea what that was. I think she could have figured it out but she said she was new there, so wasn't really sure and that I should ask Dr. M when I talk to her (which - see below).
The fourth: If I could take baby aspirin. I've asked before and told I didn't really need to. Come to find out (from this nurse - not my normal who I don't really like - we'll call her D) that it's SOP for IVF patients and that it wouldn't really hurt, which is what I thought this whole time!!! I'm SO mad! I mean, hello? One of my proteins that affect clotting was slightly elevated! What could it hurt? Could it possibly, even in the littlest, slightest bit help? Then, ok! Let me do it! It's freaking aspirin for fuck's sake! Fucking cow.

I want to call tomorrow and ask her (S) if they test my progesterone with CD3 b/w and during stims, or if they ever have. Because I wonder if I have low progesterone levels. And I want to ask her (new or not) because she's so nice while my regular nurse is out of town. She (D) just makes me feel like my questions are stupid but dammit! I want to be educated. And if they are stupid, then explain it and I won't bother you. Don't just blow me off. Ugh. Anyway, she suggested I set up an appointment with Dr. M. because it sounded like I had a lot of questions about my treatment plan. So I set one up. For MAY 12. That is the first time she is available to talk to me! I can't believe it! Hopefully I'll be near CD3 anyway, so...

I know I go through spurts where I drive them all crazy up there with all my calls and questions, and I know that most of them are stupid because I start scaring myself into thinking I may possibly have a low this or have a defective that. I just am scared. I really don't want to go to IVF and discover something new wrong. I don't want another loss before we get more tests. I just want to know, now. And I know its unreasonable to test me for every fucking thing under the sun, but you know what? I don't care. I think part of it is that I found this super cool website (thanks TTTC boards) that explains hormone levels on the CD they're taken and what it all means! Hallelujah! So now, I'll know exactly how "within normal range" I am. Out of the dark! No more talking over my head for some of this stuff! Now I want to test it out, lol. And use it to help develop new anxiety.

And damn. This will be my second post of the day. Fuck. I tried to keep today's short and non-ramble-y. Guess I fail.

No comments: