What a Weekend

We were busy this weekend! Marc and I went out to Sherlock's the local pub/bar where Marc and I first met and where he proposed (we're classy like that) with Amy and got drunk and stayed out late. Marc was with me at first, but then got bored as he wasn't talking to the awesome duo that is his wife and sister (we make a great team whilst drinking) and went home. I proceeded to make a couple of waitresses at Sherlock's really pissed off at me (that's a shameful story for later) and made it home by 3ish? I think? So was quite hung over Saturday.

Saturday we met up with the Gosmanos and friends at a place called Candelari's and had pizza and beer (not that I drank the beer cuz beer = yuck... me likey the Jack Daniels). The ladies went to get dessert at Amy's Ice Cream (yum!) and then we drove out to Jennifer's birthday party and her house. We walked into a full-swinging party where everyone was drunk (not me... I was the DD). Had I been thinking, I would have taken pictures. A lot of pictures. Blackmail picures... Sunday we packed up some stuff and sat on the couch like bums. BUMS, I tell you. We never left the house and watched some crap on the TV. We even went to bed early.

Since starting the whole "trying to have a baby thing" I have told exactly THREE people about that. THREE. One is my friend/boss, one is my best friend and one is a lady I work with who prompts secret telling - she's very good - you practically can't keep anything from her. Really. Especially when you're drunk! So, had I not been drunk, she would not know. There is, as you can probably tell, some regret in that information getting out, and its all my (and Jack Daniels') fault.

And it's not that I'm ashamed of being 'infertile' (sheesh, what a label). I just consider it a very private thing. I don't think it's anyone's business but my and my husbands and I really don't want people asking about it. I mean, really. I'll let you know when I'm ready. So, I should have been prepared (or more so) when the 3rd person wanted to "talk about it". Wanted to "see how I was doing". Well, agreeing to talk to her was a mistake! I should have said, "I'm fine! Really! Nothing to talk about here! Nothing to see! Let's just move right along!"

But, no. That was not what happened. We went outside, by ourselves, and talked. And when I say we talked, what I really mean is she talked. All about her birthing experiences to her three kids. Really. REALLY. How two of them were horrible and how she wasn't having anymore, etc. And then gave me advice! Seriously - advice! Since, obviously, she's had kids and knows how to get pregnant and I am obvioulsy doing something wrong. You know, I should relax and not be stressed, cuz you know, that can make a difference. And, the kicker - my personal favorite was that, it just might not be "meant to be". Was it wrong to then ask her, well if one of your kids dies, would you like to hear, "Well, it just wasn't meant to be." I didn't say that. I know she's trying to help. But! I didn't ask for advice! I didn't ask to be consoled! I don't need those 'nice' cliche sayings! This is why I haven't told people! People are assholes! Insensitive assholes who suffer from diarrhea of the mouth!



I knew from reading other infertile people's blogs that people are dickheads about this sort of thing, especially women/mothers, for who getting pregnant wasn't difficult. I should have been more prepared, I suppose, but wasn't. It's funny how the nicest, coolest, most well-meaning people are just insensitive pricks when it comes to spouting off about things they know nothing about. I must apologize if I've ever been one, because I truely believe that she had no idea how she sounded, and to be fair, was a little drunk when telling me these things. I don't think she was purposefully callous, and I don't think you always know you're being an asshole when you are. Quite a lesson about thinking before speaking.