UPDATE

So my number was only 93. Not good. They said there is no way the pregnancy is viable and that my numbers were "inappropriately* rising". I go back Friday to see if my numbers start dropping on their own. I hope to miscarry naturally, so we can get back into the TTC swing of things in no time. The nurses said we would only have to wait a month. Now I'm just waiting to miscarry. I don't know if or when I'll find out if its ectopic. So I'm still a ticking time bomb in that sense, in another, that I could miscarry anytime, anywhere. Everything I read said that I would have spotting, but so far that hasn't happened. We'll see. I'm hoping its just like a heavy period.

I've had a sick sense of humor about this, which I think that being able to laugh, or find something to amuse myself with about this situation has kept me from being really depressed.

So here is a list of Things I Have Recently Found Inappropriately* Funny:

1. I laughed when I realized that if I started to miscarry I would bleed all over myself because I didn't have any necessary "supplies". You can't wear a tampon, after all.

2. I don't know what to call the thing in me, so I tried to come up with names for it. Dead Baby wasn't right. I couldn't keep calling it "Zoe the Zygote". Dead Zygote didn't have the right ring to it. Developmentally Challenged Embryo is where I settled eventually. This was as we were going to bed the other night.

3. Yes, I dragged my unwitting, sweetheart husband in on that conversation. He did not find it so humorous.

4. I also am not quite satisfied with the term Developmentally Challenged Embryo because it doesn't have the word "Dead" in it. Is that funny? Or just really sick?

5. Is it appropriate* to still call the next pregnancy "Zoe the Zygote" or would we be jinxing it? What do we call it then? Is it inappropriate* if we call it the same thing?

6. The phrase "inappropriately* rising" in reference to my beta numbers. It's just funny to me! Why that phrase? Why did it stick with me? I don't know, but I get a chuckle out of it.

*I just have to use it a lot. It's funny. The word just will not leave my mind. It is stuck like glue, unlike my Developmentally Challenged Embryo.** (HA!***)

**Also, I spelt the words appropriate and inappropriate correctly every time I used it in this post. Hooray for me! No Developmentally Challenged Embryo sucking my brain cells!

*** I made another funny! I guess that should technically be number 7, but whatever.