A Little Bit of Freaking Out

The babies. They could come now. Anytime now.

ANYTIME NOW.

And what am I going to do with two newborns besides not sleep? This is me a little freaked out. About labor (I mean I know they have to come out somehow, but... it still scares the crap out of me. Will I ever be ready?) About once they come home. It's all going to be so different. And I'm still waiting on stuff I need. Thanks, Am.azon for your free shipping which takes forever. I need those sheets! I can't buy the twin bassinet sheets at the store, at least not any store I've looked in. And there are still things to be done. And the breast feeding - how will I do that? My boobs and nipples are so sensitive. So Sensitive. And, you know, it wouldn't be the first time my body has failed me (hello IF!) so, should I be surprised if there's something wrong with my boobs? And I'm still sick. I've been taking Sudafed, but it hasn't kicked this thing's butt.

And I'm going to be a mom. What if the babies don't like me? What if I don't feel super connected to them? I don't feel as though I've bonded with them a lot (and this is my own fault, as I've kept myself guarded in case something bad happened during the pregnancy) but now I'm worried about after they get here and I don't feel... connected to them. I mean, they're new little people to get to know. What if I don't fall immediately in love with them? Will they love me? Will I be a bad mom? And as miserable as I sometimes am as a pregnant person, I'm going to miss them moving around in me. And I'm going to miss being pregnant. And I still don't have a coming home outfit for them. What should I dress them in? Long sleeves? Do I really need one?

Ugh. The freak out continues.