I would love, love, love a piece from them.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Well, I called that one
It's April. So.. yeah 4-5 months later, right? And with a new background I saw and loved and kinda stole from a fellow blogger. Shameful. Downright shameful.
Oh well.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I'm still here...
So maybe I'll just write something when I want to change the background of my blog. Check back in... um... let's say 4-5 months? So the babies turned 10 moths yesterday. And are adorable (duh). I was reading over the last post I wrote and wanted to give updates on things that are so old I don't even think about them anymore.
Breastfeeding/pumping: I'm not doing it anymore! I weaned. It kinda sucked, but man is it great to not have to do that anymore.
Bad Habits: (like the swaddling) We don't go to sleep with a pacifier anymore. They only get it when we're out and about. That was hard, but I think it's better that it happened already rather than have a horrible drawn out process.
Travel: We went camping and froze our asses off. We didn't get any sleep the second night because a cold front came through which kept the babies up. We had the babies on our air mattress with us and I didn't sleep at. all. But otherwise it was fun. (And let me just say, a portable noise machine was awesome; babies napped!) We also went to Colorado to the cabin. Which is more like a cabin than I thought. Like, two miles up the mountain on a single dirt road, go buy water to fill up the water tank, it takes 30 minutes to get to anywhere, cabin. So that was an adventure. The first night I was swearing to never do this again, but by the second night, it was better. We had fun, but it was a lot of work traveling to the middle of nowhere with babies.
Decorating: H's room is done. It took a lot longer than I'd like to admit, but its finished. I still haven't done anything more than put of stickers in Z's room. They're very cute stickers, but still... they're stickers.
This is the decal set I got; it's pretty freaking cute, IMO. I also got some flowers from another set. I set it up and pulled a couple out to make artwork for the other walls and stuck flowers over door frames and light switches and at other various points around the room. The Z in the second picture is from her names spelled out over her bed. I realized I don't have her room photographed like H's.. oops.
(Please pardon the mess in the background thankyouverymuch.)
Other than that... a lot's been happening. They both crawl around like crazy. H pulls himself into a stand and is super close to standing on his own. Z doesn't have the strength for that yet, thanks to the princess-like attitude of; I prefer to sit, why do you want me to stick my legs out? But she sees H doing things she can't and so she's trying.
H is in a helmet. It was determined by measurements that is head was misshapen enough to have insurance cover it. Yay! I felt quite superior about that as most doctors seemed to pooh-pooh it by looking at it alone. But you can't argue with cold hard numbers that prove it is as bad as I thought ha ha! (And then I feel kinda weird, like yay? My son's head is that screwed up? Mother of the Year right here.)
M and I are about to go on our very first adults-only baby free trip. To Las Vegas! We'll only be gone two nights, but the worry started as soon as I bought those plane tickets. Gma is coming into town to stay with the babies and my mom will be over when she gets out of school (she's a teacher), so things should be fine. But, still. The control freak in me is making itself known.
And I can't forget: Holidays. Thanksgiving left us fat. Babies gagged and threw up the ground fresh turkey I pulled off the bird that day. (Everyone else thought it was good.) I co-hosted at our house with M's mom (who was injured thanks to her husband running her leg over. No, seriously. There's a story there, but it's long; needless to say, it was an accident and she's
recovering/ed nicely after two surgeries and many pins and screws in her leg.)
Xmas was great as well. We stayed in town for my family and then went to SA for M's side. Babies had fun pulling paper off of boxes and out of bags. I think. They really didn't do much except look bewildered when were excited that they pulled a strip of paper off a present. It was a good holiday though. It looked like Fisher Price threw up all over our living room. The
y could have filmed a commercial. (And as an aside, is it only me who feels weird opening baby gifts? It's like ooohh... thanks... they'll love this... (I think) and thank you for buying my baby stuff. Does anyone else get this? Because its not yours, for you, yet you're the one opening it.)
And the sibling rivalry begins.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Wow
So maybe I'll just post once every 3 months or so?
Yay me!
The babies are 6 months on the 24th! Wahoo! In that time since I've last posted, we've worked through weaning from the swaddle, starting cereal and weaning from the pump. We weighed the babies yesterday and they weigh in at 18 pounds and 16 pounds 9 ounces. I got me some chunky monkeys. Man.
Weaning the swaddle was... ugh. I wish we hadn't kept them swaddled whenever they slept. We are so just creatures of schedule and 'this is the way it is done for it has worked well until now' and, well, you know, habit. And the swaddling did work. And if we swaddled them again, I'm sure they (or at least Zoe) would love it. But having to find and buy expensive ass swaddling blankets they won't break out of (because when they do they wake themselves up and cry because they aren't swaddled anymore) is the mark of enough. And no more swaddling. Also was tired of getting the side eye from the mom and sister about it.
The cereal! Oh, how the babies LOVE the cereal! We started with rice, then moved onto oatmeal, then barley and finally multi-grain. For fun, about a week ago I gave them an avocado.
Henderson ate a few bites before realizing how much he hated it and proceeded to gag himself
into throwing it all up. It was quite lovely. Zoe realized quickly she didn't like it and clamped her lips shut after spitting out the first couple of bites. They both regarded me as an evil person who tried to pull something over on them and they did not appreciate it. Not at all. So we went back to cereal. And after the pediatrician visit this week, we'll be venturing out into the real food arena once more. Babies beware!
And I am trying to wean. We have acquired a deep freezer on loan and are stockpiling all the last of the liquid gold I hope to stop producing. After the pediatrician said it would be better for them to get one bottle of breast milk a day because of all the immunities, we switched them to all
formula, but one bottle. So we're hoping the milk will last a good while through the fall. And I'm hoping my boobs dry up real quick.
We are going on a trip! One of the reasons I want to quit, is that bringing the hated pump on vacation with me does not sound like fun. And shortly after going to visit Gma and Bob in their "cabin" in CO we'll be going camping, with no electricity, so I damn sure better be done by then. For reals. We're a little nervous about flying with two six month olds and staying away from home for a week, with all of us having to share a room. It will be interesting. But the babies have done really well in other new situations, so I'm hopeful. We went to a grill and bar and watched
the Packer game Sunday (the whole game!). Babies ate their cereal, drank their bottle, sat in a highchair for the first time and napped in their carseat. And did great! No crying! We had a
plumbing incident in the bathroom accessible only through the babies rooms, so did a trial run of playpen sleeping all in the same room, and it was... well. That was ok. But I think it'll be better in CO. Henderson did awesomely well. Zoe is a tougher napper anyway, so, we'll see.
In more humorous of updates; the babies had their first "fight" over a toy. It's this fake taggie ball they have and if they're sitting next to each other and one of them has the ball... the other one wants it. And if they're close enough, will grab for it. And if they aren't close enough, they watch it the entire time as if beckoning it within reach with their stare. It's pretty freaking funny to watch.
I'm decorating the babies rooms. It's taking forever. I started H's room (I want to paint six stripes in a band around the room in five different colors. I am CRAZY.) and then moved onto Z's where wall decals made doing her room much, much easier. I'm still thinking about what else I need to do in there - it needs something else, I just don't know what. I'm thinking paint? But
what? So now I'm still stuck in H's trying to tape the stripe pattern and driving myself crazy. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get tape up around an entire room in an even, perfectly level stripe? I can't measure from the ceiling - it's uneven. Same for the floor. And the doors and window make it incredibly difficult to keep the tape even all the way around. M thinks I'm certifiable for doing this. And maybe I am. After this I want to do their bathroom and then the
other guest bath. But that should be pretty easy. I just need to find gender neutral bathroom
decorations that I like for theirs and then just paint the other one - I already have the color picked out.
I have to stop now - it's feeding time for the little bits. And I'll leave some recent pictures. It's the least I can do.
So cute
Go Packers!
Go Longhorns!
And as is a subject of much fascination in my household - Z has my eye color (green) (and, it looks like, my red hair - now we'll just have to see if it's curly like mine), but H? Those blue eyes? Daddy has brown eyes, like most of his family. And there are distant blue eyes on my side. So where did they come from? Genes are a funny, funny thing.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Super Slacker
Wow. So the last time I wrote a blog post... May... man do I know how to completely ignore and put something off.
Let's see, reading from the last post, the twins were about to get vaccinated. They did, and they did fine. They were very cranky immediately afterwards, but slept a lot that day and the next. They had a knot in their legs from one of the shots that just went away.
And my boob! Well, it had to get drained. It was very painful, since it was infected. More antibiotics finally cleared it up and Lecithin has kept recurring clogged ducts at bay (knock on wood). So, I'm still pumping and the babies are still exclusively eating breast milk - yay! This has also helped me drop close to fifteen pre-pregnancy pounds - wahoo! Getting close to pre-IF drugs weight! I'm just excited that a whole portion of my wardrobe has opened up, clothes that I had stopped wearing due to uncomfortableness from being so fat.
M has gotten the snip. Mwah-hahahah... I'm so glad he did that so I don't have to worry about getting pregnant again, and don't have to take any hormones. I think my body has had enough. I know it was hard on him, but I'm so glad he did it.
The babies are three and a half months old now. It's awesome because they smile all the time and are much more vocal. The next pediatrician appointment is at the end of July - they'll get more vaccines and hopefully a clean bill of health. We don't plan on starting solids until closer to six months, and will see what our Dr says about that - my mom was surprised to hear that its recommended that you wait until babies are six months. She has been advising my sister, who started her baby at four months... it's amazing to me that people don't do their own research. I know we all turned out "fine" but I don't see the need to rush it.
And now for some pics! The first is Miss Zee looking adorable, the second is Mr. H looking dashing and handsome in his post bath robe, and the last are them looking, to me, like the American Gothic painting. I like the pic a lot.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
New Name
So I have officially changed the name of my blog. I was trying to come up with something that sounded like my old title 'My Life in Limbo' but was the opposite of being 'in limbo'. I don't think I found anything especially clever, but the new title seems to fit pretty well.
The twins are two months old. Tomorrow they go in for their first round of vaccinations. I'm slightly worried about these; how the babies will feel and behave after them. But, otherwise the babies are doing well. H has some head-shape issues that I hope we can talk about and get resolved... I know it's a problem, but it is impossible to get him to sleep on the side of his head - he moves it. And I have those head shaping pillow things, but they aren't supposed to sleep in those, so... ? There's only so much I can do.
The babies are officially in their nursery now, which is nice. I don't know that we sleep a ton better, its more like we make a lot more trips up the stairs. They're sleeping pretty well - we even got a few seven hour stretches recently. I'd say their biggest sleep deterrent is gas. And mylicon isn't the savior I'd hoped for. It helps, but not in a 'OMG its gone!' type way that you hope for at 2am.
My boobs have had issues though. I have an infection in the left one; a clogged duct that wouldn't go away developed into a raging infection. I never felt bad (like I've heard people with mastitis feel) but the skin turned red and warm. I had an ultrasound and they found abscesses, which were attacked with antibiotics, then determined to be need to be drained (OUCH!) and attacked with another round of antibiotics... and now, a week after the draining, there is still a small lump and the surface of my skin is still pink. I need to call and see what they want me to do as my antibiotics are about to run out. I just wish this would go away.
The twins are two months old. Tomorrow they go in for their first round of vaccinations. I'm slightly worried about these; how the babies will feel and behave after them. But, otherwise the babies are doing well. H has some head-shape issues that I hope we can talk about and get resolved... I know it's a problem, but it is impossible to get him to sleep on the side of his head - he moves it. And I have those head shaping pillow things, but they aren't supposed to sleep in those, so... ? There's only so much I can do.
The babies are officially in their nursery now, which is nice. I don't know that we sleep a ton better, its more like we make a lot more trips up the stairs. They're sleeping pretty well - we even got a few seven hour stretches recently. I'd say their biggest sleep deterrent is gas. And mylicon isn't the savior I'd hoped for. It helps, but not in a 'OMG its gone!' type way that you hope for at 2am.
My boobs have had issues though. I have an infection in the left one; a clogged duct that wouldn't go away developed into a raging infection. I never felt bad (like I've heard people with mastitis feel) but the skin turned red and warm. I had an ultrasound and they found abscesses, which were attacked with antibiotics, then determined to be need to be drained (OUCH!) and attacked with another round of antibiotics... and now, a week after the draining, there is still a small lump and the surface of my skin is still pink. I need to call and see what they want me to do as my antibiotics are about to run out. I just wish this would go away.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Life Since
The babies will be 6 weeks old tomorrow. And since then my life has been all about milk. Seriously and literally. From the day the babies were born my main concerns have been about supply and clogged ducts and the schedule. The good: pumping and breast feeding got me into pre-pregnancy (fat) jeans two weeks post partum and was below my first OB appointment weight (I was ~9 weeks) by 4 weeks post partum. It's hard to believe I lost 50 pounds in less than a month.
Of course my body is now completely different, something BFing and pumping will never help me with. My stomach is riddled with stretch marks, from hip to hip and even some over my now stretched out belly button. My body is now completely different. The consistency of my stomach, the shape of my figure... I knew it would change, but I had no idea how much. It's a good thing I don't plan on being in a swimsuit this summer. I still want to lose more weight, but I need to start exercising to regain some muscle. Going through fertility treatments makes it hard to exercise. And sitting on the couch for the last 9 months or so is no good for muscle tone; needless to say, I've lost a lot of it. Getting it back will suck, but being flabby sucks more.
The bad: The pain. Clogged ducts - suck. And hurt. My nipples are still incredibly sore. My breasts are sore. I wake up in the middle of the night to pump because my breasts hurt. I can't wait until this gets easier. My back is also the other casualty of my boobs. I was always generously endowed, but they've gotten bigger and are hurting my back. Of course, I'm not sure how much is just my back trying to get back into good form after carrying 15 pounds around on my belly. I'm proud of myself to have made it this far with breastfeeding/pumping, but man. It hasn't been a fun journey.
At least the babies are doing well. They are amazing. They're both gaining weight (last weigh in last week put H at 10 pounds 5.5 ounces and Z at 9 lbs 5.5 oz) and sleeping (knock on wood) pretty well. Their chief complaint (and mine) is gas. Man, oh man, having gas as a baby sucks. Big time. I know it could be a lot worse, but I feel bad for them because they seem to be in such pain.
The schedule we started doing from the day we brought them home is still in effect. And working well for us. I mean, I wish I could get more sleep, but I'm getting more than I thought I would, which is very nice. It goes a little something like this:
10am: Diaper change, feed and awake time. They're usually up for about an hour, then back to bed.
1pm: Diaper change, feed and awake time. Back to sleep after an hour or so.
4pm: Diaper change, feed and awake time. Back to sleep after an hour or so.
7pm: Diaper change, feed and straight to bed.
10pm: Diaper change feed and straight to bed.
Middle of the night: We let them dictate what time they wake up... it's usually between 2 and 3am. Then we change diapers, feed and put them back to bed.
6am: Diaper change, feed and straight to bed.
We're flexible with the schedule, adjusting it as things get pushed or moved. The longer sleep times during the night get bigger bottles with the feedings. I pump every time they eat, and try to nurse them once a day, which substitutes a feeding and a pump. And, of course, we haven't been perfect and the schedule has been shot to hell, but most days it works and we try to keep it as a guideline.
Being the only person during the day to take care of them has been hard - especially in the beginning. Taking care of them, and remembering to take care of myself... (little to no milk if I don't eat, don't sleep or am stressed, as I learned the hard way). But it's gotten easier. It was quite a shock to the system but I've (sadly) gotten used to one baby crying. I hate it, but sometimes it just has to happen. I've been incredibly spoiled and fortunate to have a wonderful mother-in-law who stayed with us the first two weeks after we brought the babies home. She cleaned for us, cooked for us and helped me with babies when M had to start working again. We've also been fortunate that M has been able to work from home most days, until now.
Sorry for the lack of pictures and stories - I mainly wanted to get something on record here... it's not cute or funny, but there it is.
Some bragging:
H had held up his own bottle, numerous times, from his first week home.
H has had awesome head control... and Z is getting better and better.
Z has peed on me more than H
H once peed over his own head onto our bed (thanks M for changing him on the bed)
Z had explosive diarrhea onto M's hand.. he yelled for me that he had an emergency lol
Z smiles randomly and every once in a while has made cooing noises. They're so sweet. M got one when he stroked her cheek. I haven't gotten one yet and am incredibly jealous.
Of course my body is now completely different, something BFing and pumping will never help me with. My stomach is riddled with stretch marks, from hip to hip and even some over my now stretched out belly button. My body is now completely different. The consistency of my stomach, the shape of my figure... I knew it would change, but I had no idea how much. It's a good thing I don't plan on being in a swimsuit this summer. I still want to lose more weight, but I need to start exercising to regain some muscle. Going through fertility treatments makes it hard to exercise. And sitting on the couch for the last 9 months or so is no good for muscle tone; needless to say, I've lost a lot of it. Getting it back will suck, but being flabby sucks more.
The bad: The pain. Clogged ducts - suck. And hurt. My nipples are still incredibly sore. My breasts are sore. I wake up in the middle of the night to pump because my breasts hurt. I can't wait until this gets easier. My back is also the other casualty of my boobs. I was always generously endowed, but they've gotten bigger and are hurting my back. Of course, I'm not sure how much is just my back trying to get back into good form after carrying 15 pounds around on my belly. I'm proud of myself to have made it this far with breastfeeding/pumping, but man. It hasn't been a fun journey.
At least the babies are doing well. They are amazing. They're both gaining weight (last weigh in last week put H at 10 pounds 5.5 ounces and Z at 9 lbs 5.5 oz) and sleeping (knock on wood) pretty well. Their chief complaint (and mine) is gas. Man, oh man, having gas as a baby sucks. Big time. I know it could be a lot worse, but I feel bad for them because they seem to be in such pain.
The schedule we started doing from the day we brought them home is still in effect. And working well for us. I mean, I wish I could get more sleep, but I'm getting more than I thought I would, which is very nice. It goes a little something like this:
10am: Diaper change, feed and awake time. They're usually up for about an hour, then back to bed.
1pm: Diaper change, feed and awake time. Back to sleep after an hour or so.
4pm: Diaper change, feed and awake time. Back to sleep after an hour or so.
7pm: Diaper change, feed and straight to bed.
10pm: Diaper change feed and straight to bed.
Middle of the night: We let them dictate what time they wake up... it's usually between 2 and 3am. Then we change diapers, feed and put them back to bed.
6am: Diaper change, feed and straight to bed.
We're flexible with the schedule, adjusting it as things get pushed or moved. The longer sleep times during the night get bigger bottles with the feedings. I pump every time they eat, and try to nurse them once a day, which substitutes a feeding and a pump. And, of course, we haven't been perfect and the schedule has been shot to hell, but most days it works and we try to keep it as a guideline.
Being the only person during the day to take care of them has been hard - especially in the beginning. Taking care of them, and remembering to take care of myself... (little to no milk if I don't eat, don't sleep or am stressed, as I learned the hard way). But it's gotten easier. It was quite a shock to the system but I've (sadly) gotten used to one baby crying. I hate it, but sometimes it just has to happen. I've been incredibly spoiled and fortunate to have a wonderful mother-in-law who stayed with us the first two weeks after we brought the babies home. She cleaned for us, cooked for us and helped me with babies when M had to start working again. We've also been fortunate that M has been able to work from home most days, until now.
Sorry for the lack of pictures and stories - I mainly wanted to get something on record here... it's not cute or funny, but there it is.
Some bragging:
H had held up his own bottle, numerous times, from his first week home.
H has had awesome head control... and Z is getting better and better.
Z has peed on me more than H
H once peed over his own head onto our bed (thanks M for changing him on the bed)
Z had explosive diarrhea onto M's hand.. he yelled for me that he had an emergency lol
Z smiles randomly and every once in a while has made cooing noises. They're so sweet. M got one when he stroked her cheek. I haven't gotten one yet and am incredibly jealous.
Friday, April 16, 2010
The Birth Story
Well, I am officially a blog slack ass. I have had very little time to myself and therefore no time to blog. But, I wanted to get this out, while it was still somewhat fresh.
So we enter the hospital at 5:30am for our scheduled induction. I am 38 weeks pregnant and was 1-2 cm dilated. Both babies are head down, so we hope for a vaginal delivery. We get admitted and the party gets started at around 7:30am when the pitocin starts. I start contracting, but they aren't super contractions and nothing I can't live through. My doctor comes in and breaks my (Henderson's) water (which was more uncomfortable than I thought it would be - not the water breaking, but the hand shoved up my hoo-ha). And we wait. I get super hungry but thanks to the no food rule, I suffer. Pregnant women being forced to starve is kinda cruel.
The pitocin does its job and I dilate more. I get checked every once in a while and things are moving slowly... they say I should dilate at least one centimeter per hour with the pitocin. I was going slower than that, so they upped the pitocin, but then had to decrease it back because the contractions were coming too close together too early. At around 3-4 cm dilated I get an epidural. Contractions were uncomfortable (easy to say now, 3 weeks later) but livable - the nurse kinda talked me into it since I was getting one anyway, why be uncomfortable? Good reasoning, I thought, so I said sure! Let's go! I got the epidural from a very nice and talkative doctor (Dr. Duncan). The procedure didn't hurt but felt weird. And the sensations from it were also weird. It wasn't an experience I would like to repeat, but it worked, which is all that mattered.
So I labor on blissfully pain free. It was great - until it wasn't pain free. I realize that I was starting to feel things. Cramping and backaches. (Oh, yes - Henderson was faced the wrong way which invoked back labor - which hurts. A lot.) So I tell my nurse and she gets Dr. Duncan again and he gives me a boost. Which is lovely. I go back to not feeling a thing and keep laboring and slowly progressing. Henderson is still turned the wrong way, so I am rotated to try to help him turn. They can't try to rotate him in-utero because there simply isn't the space, and they don't want to disturb Zoe. I also start feeling things again. I try and hold off saying anything because at this point I'm kinda freaked out about how much medicine I'm burning through and that I'm able to feel things with the epidural (and that I'm feeling things faster than before - the boost didn't last very long compared to the initial start of the epidural.) I mention it and around the same time, I've been on my side for an hour without Henderson rotating at all. I'm dilated to 7cm at this point, but my cervix has started to thicken - I'm starting to move backwards.
A new anesthesiologist is on duty and is called in. She gets to my room at about the same time it's decided that I'll be having a c-section. Now, I could never envision myself pushing these babies out and kinda thought that a c-section would be pretty clean and simple... but alas, the c-sections I saw on TV were NOT what I would be getting. Please read no further if you are worried about getting a c-section or don't want to read scary things that could happen.
The anesthesiologist takes stock of everything and starts pumping me full of drugs. I am really, really hoping these things kick in quickly, because I'm still feeling cramping and having back pain on my left side and we're heading towards the OR with frightening speed. We get to the OR and I still feel things. I start numbing (finally), but am freaked out because I can still move my legs and feet. So they start. I don't feel the cut but feel a lot of pressure. It was surprising how long it took for them to get to the babies - it felt like a long time until they pushed to get Henderson out. They push on me and Henderson is born. The pushing and pressure hurt a lot. They then start to get Zoe. I feel more pushing, pressure and pain. She was up on my right side, directly beneath my ribs. She was born two minutes after Henderson and after she was out, I remember being able to take a deep breath, like I haven't been able to do in months. I remember my doctor saying that she was peeing on them, which made me laugh. All the pressure is gone, all of a sudden. I didn't get to see either of them, which makes me teary eyed even now. I'm getting pain 'tests' throughout their birth and am apparently failing them, because they start to get the placenta, which was at the top of my uterus and I feel sharp pains. After that, I remember nothing.
I wake up in recovery with a lot of pain. They pump me full of more drugs (Demerol, I think?) before giving me morphine on a pump. I don't know if any of that is normal or not, but all I know is that I was in a lot of pain and it was about 9:00 - two hours after my babies had been born. I still hadn't seen them yet. M was there when I woke up and was able to tell me about the babies - he got to carry them downstairs and introduce them to our family who was waiting outside the nursery. When I get released from recovery they wheel me down past the nursery for my first look at my babies. I finally get to meet them later in my room.
Needless to say, this was not the birth I had envisioned and it makes me a little sad to look back at my experience. I really wanted to see them and get pictures taken with them. I really wanted to be able to meet them sooner after their birth. I really wanted the experience to be pain free. I really hoped it would be like what you see on TV, but should have known better, I suppose. At least M was able to be there with them and me throughout, and they were both born healthy which makes me happy and is all that really matters.
So we enter the hospital at 5:30am for our scheduled induction. I am 38 weeks pregnant and was 1-2 cm dilated. Both babies are head down, so we hope for a vaginal delivery. We get admitted and the party gets started at around 7:30am when the pitocin starts. I start contracting, but they aren't super contractions and nothing I can't live through. My doctor comes in and breaks my (Henderson's) water (which was more uncomfortable than I thought it would be - not the water breaking, but the hand shoved up my hoo-ha). And we wait. I get super hungry but thanks to the no food rule, I suffer. Pregnant women being forced to starve is kinda cruel.
The pitocin does its job and I dilate more. I get checked every once in a while and things are moving slowly... they say I should dilate at least one centimeter per hour with the pitocin. I was going slower than that, so they upped the pitocin, but then had to decrease it back because the contractions were coming too close together too early. At around 3-4 cm dilated I get an epidural. Contractions were uncomfortable (easy to say now, 3 weeks later) but livable - the nurse kinda talked me into it since I was getting one anyway, why be uncomfortable? Good reasoning, I thought, so I said sure! Let's go! I got the epidural from a very nice and talkative doctor (Dr. Duncan). The procedure didn't hurt but felt weird. And the sensations from it were also weird. It wasn't an experience I would like to repeat, but it worked, which is all that mattered.
So I labor on blissfully pain free. It was great - until it wasn't pain free. I realize that I was starting to feel things. Cramping and backaches. (Oh, yes - Henderson was faced the wrong way which invoked back labor - which hurts. A lot.) So I tell my nurse and she gets Dr. Duncan again and he gives me a boost. Which is lovely. I go back to not feeling a thing and keep laboring and slowly progressing. Henderson is still turned the wrong way, so I am rotated to try to help him turn. They can't try to rotate him in-utero because there simply isn't the space, and they don't want to disturb Zoe. I also start feeling things again. I try and hold off saying anything because at this point I'm kinda freaked out about how much medicine I'm burning through and that I'm able to feel things with the epidural (and that I'm feeling things faster than before - the boost didn't last very long compared to the initial start of the epidural.) I mention it and around the same time, I've been on my side for an hour without Henderson rotating at all. I'm dilated to 7cm at this point, but my cervix has started to thicken - I'm starting to move backwards.
A new anesthesiologist is on duty and is called in. She gets to my room at about the same time it's decided that I'll be having a c-section. Now, I could never envision myself pushing these babies out and kinda thought that a c-section would be pretty clean and simple... but alas, the c-sections I saw on TV were NOT what I would be getting. Please read no further if you are worried about getting a c-section or don't want to read scary things that could happen.
The anesthesiologist takes stock of everything and starts pumping me full of drugs. I am really, really hoping these things kick in quickly, because I'm still feeling cramping and having back pain on my left side and we're heading towards the OR with frightening speed. We get to the OR and I still feel things. I start numbing (finally), but am freaked out because I can still move my legs and feet. So they start. I don't feel the cut but feel a lot of pressure. It was surprising how long it took for them to get to the babies - it felt like a long time until they pushed to get Henderson out. They push on me and Henderson is born. The pushing and pressure hurt a lot. They then start to get Zoe. I feel more pushing, pressure and pain. She was up on my right side, directly beneath my ribs. She was born two minutes after Henderson and after she was out, I remember being able to take a deep breath, like I haven't been able to do in months. I remember my doctor saying that she was peeing on them, which made me laugh. All the pressure is gone, all of a sudden. I didn't get to see either of them, which makes me teary eyed even now. I'm getting pain 'tests' throughout their birth and am apparently failing them, because they start to get the placenta, which was at the top of my uterus and I feel sharp pains. After that, I remember nothing.
I wake up in recovery with a lot of pain. They pump me full of more drugs (Demerol, I think?) before giving me morphine on a pump. I don't know if any of that is normal or not, but all I know is that I was in a lot of pain and it was about 9:00 - two hours after my babies had been born. I still hadn't seen them yet. M was there when I woke up and was able to tell me about the babies - he got to carry them downstairs and introduce them to our family who was waiting outside the nursery. When I get released from recovery they wheel me down past the nursery for my first look at my babies. I finally get to meet them later in my room.
Needless to say, this was not the birth I had envisioned and it makes me a little sad to look back at my experience. I really wanted to see them and get pictures taken with them. I really wanted to be able to meet them sooner after their birth. I really wanted the experience to be pain free. I really hoped it would be like what you see on TV, but should have known better, I suppose. At least M was able to be there with them and me throughout, and they were both born healthy which makes me happy and is all that really matters.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Babies Are Here!
(I have a lot to write and no time to do it, so I'm going to try and work backwards and start from the beginning.)
We went into the hospital March 24, 2010 to be induced and Henderson was born at 7:11pm, Zoe at 7:13pm. They weighed 7lbs 6.8oz and 7lbs 1.5oz and were 19.75 and 19.5 inches long. We had complications during the attempted vaginal delivery so I ended up with a c-section (that is a whole different story - will have to write about that later).
But they are here, and perfect and we are just amazed by them. H had to stay an extra day (so we all stayed so we could go home together) due to jaundice, so we didn't go home until March 29.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Ok... Now What
So we have a plan. Am being induced Wednesday. Today is Friday. Things... feel a little different. I have almost constant back ache. I have more contractions, but mostly non-painful ones (believe me I'm not complaining about that) that don't feel productive. I mean, I think they're supposed to hurt and the tightening I feel when I get up don't really count. I have more painful contractions when I have painful contractions. And they're in my back and stomach and are painful to distraction. They really kill my back. They bring me fully awake and make me feel somewhat restless. But nothing... regular. No water breaking. It hurts like hell just to stand, so I've been on my ass all day. But the waiting. The analyzing every feeling, every difference, like - could this be it? Am I going into labor? And then... nothing. It is slightly reminiscent of the 2ww - What does this feeling mean? Could it be?
Ugh. I am driving myself batty. When is this going to happen? What is it going to be like? Will I end up with a section? Will the babies be ok? I just wish something would happen. Although the thought of going through everything freaks me out... but at least once it starts, it'll be over soon. And I'll know that everything is ok, that I'm ok and that the babies are ok.
Ugh. I am driving myself batty. When is this going to happen? What is it going to be like? Will I end up with a section? Will the babies be ok? I just wish something would happen. Although the thought of going through everything freaks me out... but at least once it starts, it'll be over soon. And I'll know that everything is ok, that I'm ok and that the babies are ok.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Great 36w6d Appointment!
We had a growth scan and the babies are doing well!
I'm dilated 1-2cm (yay, progress!). If nothing happens by next Wednesday, we induce (yay, end in sight! And! A plan!). Babies measured 7lbs 3oz and 7lbs, although according to the u/s tech, she subtracts 8 oz off each because they're twins and likely to be smaller, so really they're measuring larger... (whatever the hell that means - we had a new lady we've never had before and she was highly annoying. High voice and talked to us like we were three, was the only one who hasn't let me go pee before the scan, and... acted like she was on her tenth cup of coffee).
My OB came in and said well it looks like you've got about 15 pounds of baby in you; so that's what I'm going with; she also said I have a large amount of amniotic fluid, which can make the babies look larger than they are on a scan. Baby Boy has dropped even lower. I lost five pounds (yay!) from the ten pound spurt I had from last week (I had gained ten in a week, but the nurse said it was water retention... I sure as hell hope so). BP was ok (130/88 or something - getting a little high) and I'm still swole like the hulk. We go back next Tuesday, if nothing has happened to check on things and, I guess, to firm up inducing-type things.
And this was posted on the boards, and made me laugh, so I'm copying it here.
The Top 15 Stupid Things People Say to Parents of Twins
15. “I could never do it.” (Oh really. What would you do? Are you suggesting I put them on the curb with signs around their necks that say, “Free to a good home. My mom can’t do it.”?)
14. “Do they have different personalities?” (No. They are the same human being divided into two parts.)
13. Said by a stranger, “They’re identical, right?” Mom answers, “No. They’re fraternal.” Stranger response, “They are NOT!” (OK. You’re right. I have no idea what I’m talking about. These are not my children. I thought it would be fun to borrow them from a mom down at Baby Gap. It’s been more than an hour. I guess I should return them.)
12. “Are they ‘paternal’ twins?” (Yes. They have a father. There was only one virgin birth.)
11. “Just wait till they’re older. It only gets harder.” (Thank you. I woke up this morning hoping I’d receive a word of discouragement while pushing a cart of preschoolers down the cereal aisle.)
10. “When one cries, does he wake the other?” (No. Twins cannot hear each other’s cries because they all communicate with their special telepathic language only.)
9. From a perfect stranger: “Were they in the same sac?” (Hello. Nice to meet you, too. Will you be sharing your gynecological history with me as well?)
8. “Are they developmentally behind?” (Well, let’s see. They’re 3 years old and thus far, all their graduate school applications have been denied. We’ll get back with you on that.)
7. “How do you do it?” (Haven’t you seen the Nike commercials?)
6. Said by a dentist: “I was shocked that they didn’t have the same bite patterns.” (They are two different human beings, not clones.)
5. “You must be SO busy.” (Are you volunteering to clean my house?)
4. Said to a mom of fraternal twins who are different sizes, have different eye color and different face structure: “How do you tell them apart?” (I just look at them.)
3. “What do you do when they both cry at the same time?” (Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I go to Starbucks.)
2. Said to a mom of boy/girl twins: “Are they identical?” (Uh. Not exactly. One has a penis)
1. Only one comment could be voted No. 1. The choice was clear. Drum roll, please. After a stranger had been informed that the toddler boys were twins, she asked a simple question: “Are they brothers?” (Enough said.)
I'm dilated 1-2cm (yay, progress!). If nothing happens by next Wednesday, we induce (yay, end in sight! And! A plan!). Babies measured 7lbs 3oz and 7lbs, although according to the u/s tech, she subtracts 8 oz off each because they're twins and likely to be smaller, so really they're measuring larger... (whatever the hell that means - we had a new lady we've never had before and she was highly annoying. High voice and talked to us like we were three, was the only one who hasn't let me go pee before the scan, and... acted like she was on her tenth cup of coffee).
My OB came in and said well it looks like you've got about 15 pounds of baby in you; so that's what I'm going with; she also said I have a large amount of amniotic fluid, which can make the babies look larger than they are on a scan. Baby Boy has dropped even lower. I lost five pounds (yay!) from the ten pound spurt I had from last week (I had gained ten in a week, but the nurse said it was water retention... I sure as hell hope so). BP was ok (130/88 or something - getting a little high) and I'm still swole like the hulk. We go back next Tuesday, if nothing has happened to check on things and, I guess, to firm up inducing-type things.
And this was posted on the boards, and made me laugh, so I'm copying it here.
The Top 15 Stupid Things People Say to Parents of Twins
15. “I could never do it.” (Oh really. What would you do? Are you suggesting I put them on the curb with signs around their necks that say, “Free to a good home. My mom can’t do it.”?)
14. “Do they have different personalities?” (No. They are the same human being divided into two parts.)
13. Said by a stranger, “They’re identical, right?” Mom answers, “No. They’re fraternal.” Stranger response, “They are NOT!” (OK. You’re right. I have no idea what I’m talking about. These are not my children. I thought it would be fun to borrow them from a mom down at Baby Gap. It’s been more than an hour. I guess I should return them.)
12. “Are they ‘paternal’ twins?” (Yes. They have a father. There was only one virgin birth.)
11. “Just wait till they’re older. It only gets harder.” (Thank you. I woke up this morning hoping I’d receive a word of discouragement while pushing a cart of preschoolers down the cereal aisle.)
10. “When one cries, does he wake the other?” (No. Twins cannot hear each other’s cries because they all communicate with their special telepathic language only.)
9. From a perfect stranger: “Were they in the same sac?” (Hello. Nice to meet you, too. Will you be sharing your gynecological history with me as well?)
8. “Are they developmentally behind?” (Well, let’s see. They’re 3 years old and thus far, all their graduate school applications have been denied. We’ll get back with you on that.)
7. “How do you do it?” (Haven’t you seen the Nike commercials?)
6. Said by a dentist: “I was shocked that they didn’t have the same bite patterns.” (They are two different human beings, not clones.)
5. “You must be SO busy.” (Are you volunteering to clean my house?)
4. Said to a mom of fraternal twins who are different sizes, have different eye color and different face structure: “How do you tell them apart?” (I just look at them.)
3. “What do you do when they both cry at the same time?” (Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I go to Starbucks.)
2. Said to a mom of boy/girl twins: “Are they identical?” (Uh. Not exactly. One has a penis)
1. Only one comment could be voted No. 1. The choice was clear. Drum roll, please. After a stranger had been informed that the toddler boys were twins, she asked a simple question: “Are they brothers?” (Enough said.)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
36w1d
How far along? 36w 1d
Total weight gain/loss: :'( My goal to stay at a 40 pound weight gain has been... unsuccessful. I'm so sad. In the last week I gained ten pounds. TEN! The nurse said it was water retention (which is quite evident in my swollen ass feet) but it makes me sad. I was so proud of myself until yesterday.
Maternity clothes? All the time.
Stretch marks? Getting more and more daily. They go from hip to hip and are now spreading up my stomach. I look like I've been attacked by some feral cat-like animal. Since I'm redheaded and pale as fuck, the stretch marks are bright red/deep purple. It sucks.
Sleep: Depends on the day. I sleep sometimes. I'm tired all the time... I'm always uncomfortable, so it's hard to sleep for long periods of a time. Or longer than an hour at a time.
Best moment this week: Watching the babies try to kick off the Doppler's during the NST. It was hilarious. They were better this week, but last week we had to hold down the Doppler's to make sure they stayed in place to get readings. This week they were more well-behaved but still super active.
Movement: It depends on the time - sometimes they're super active, sometimes they don't hardly move at all and all I get is pressure.
Food cravings: No. I have to stay away from salt and I need to stay away from sugar. I've been drinking juice like its going out of style, but now I need to be careful what with the sugar.
Gender: Still one of each!
Labor Signs: Contractions have become more frequent, but that's about it.
What I miss: Knowing what its like to be comfortable. I miss my old feet and legs. And sleep.
What I am looking forward to: Our next growth scan next Tuesday and seeing what position they're in and how big they are.
Milestones: I made it to 36 weeks!
Total weight gain/loss: :'( My goal to stay at a 40 pound weight gain has been... unsuccessful. I'm so sad. In the last week I gained ten pounds. TEN! The nurse said it was water retention (which is quite evident in my swollen ass feet) but it makes me sad. I was so proud of myself until yesterday.
Maternity clothes? All the time.
Stretch marks? Getting more and more daily. They go from hip to hip and are now spreading up my stomach. I look like I've been attacked by some feral cat-like animal. Since I'm redheaded and pale as fuck, the stretch marks are bright red/deep purple. It sucks.
Sleep: Depends on the day. I sleep sometimes. I'm tired all the time... I'm always uncomfortable, so it's hard to sleep for long periods of a time. Or longer than an hour at a time.
Best moment this week: Watching the babies try to kick off the Doppler's during the NST. It was hilarious. They were better this week, but last week we had to hold down the Doppler's to make sure they stayed in place to get readings. This week they were more well-behaved but still super active.
Movement: It depends on the time - sometimes they're super active, sometimes they don't hardly move at all and all I get is pressure.
Food cravings: No. I have to stay away from salt and I need to stay away from sugar. I've been drinking juice like its going out of style, but now I need to be careful what with the sugar.
Gender: Still one of each!
Labor Signs: Contractions have become more frequent, but that's about it.
What I miss: Knowing what its like to be comfortable. I miss my old feet and legs. And sleep.
What I am looking forward to: Our next growth scan next Tuesday and seeing what position they're in and how big they are.
Milestones: I made it to 36 weeks!
Monday, March 8, 2010
A Little Bit of Freaking Out
The babies. They could come now. Anytime now.
ANYTIME NOW.
And what am I going to do with two newborns besides not sleep? This is me a little freaked out. About labor (I mean I know they have to come out somehow, but... it still scares the crap out of me. Will I ever be ready?) About once they come home. It's all going to be so different. And I'm still waiting on stuff I need. Thanks, Am.azon for your free shipping which takes forever. I need those sheets! I can't buy the twin bassinet sheets at the store, at least not any store I've looked in. And there are still things to be done. And the breast feeding - how will I do that? My boobs and nipples are so sensitive. So Sensitive. And, you know, it wouldn't be the first time my body has failed me (hello IF!) so, should I be surprised if there's something wrong with my boobs? And I'm still sick. I've been taking Sudafed, but it hasn't kicked this thing's butt.
And I'm going to be a mom. What if the babies don't like me? What if I don't feel super connected to them? I don't feel as though I've bonded with them a lot (and this is my own fault, as I've kept myself guarded in case something bad happened during the pregnancy) but now I'm worried about after they get here and I don't feel... connected to them. I mean, they're new little people to get to know. What if I don't fall immediately in love with them? Will they love me? Will I be a bad mom? And as miserable as I sometimes am as a pregnant person, I'm going to miss them moving around in me. And I'm going to miss being pregnant. And I still don't have a coming home outfit for them. What should I dress them in? Long sleeves? Do I really need one?
Ugh. The freak out continues.
ANYTIME NOW.
And what am I going to do with two newborns besides not sleep? This is me a little freaked out. About labor (I mean I know they have to come out somehow, but... it still scares the crap out of me. Will I ever be ready?) About once they come home. It's all going to be so different. And I'm still waiting on stuff I need. Thanks, Am.azon for your free shipping which takes forever. I need those sheets! I can't buy the twin bassinet sheets at the store, at least not any store I've looked in. And there are still things to be done. And the breast feeding - how will I do that? My boobs and nipples are so sensitive. So Sensitive. And, you know, it wouldn't be the first time my body has failed me (hello IF!) so, should I be surprised if there's something wrong with my boobs? And I'm still sick. I've been taking Sudafed, but it hasn't kicked this thing's butt.
And I'm going to be a mom. What if the babies don't like me? What if I don't feel super connected to them? I don't feel as though I've bonded with them a lot (and this is my own fault, as I've kept myself guarded in case something bad happened during the pregnancy) but now I'm worried about after they get here and I don't feel... connected to them. I mean, they're new little people to get to know. What if I don't fall immediately in love with them? Will they love me? Will I be a bad mom? And as miserable as I sometimes am as a pregnant person, I'm going to miss them moving around in me. And I'm going to miss being pregnant. And I still don't have a coming home outfit for them. What should I dress them in? Long sleeves? Do I really need one?
Ugh. The freak out continues.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
The Sickness
I can't breathe through my nose.... which is running. I keep sneezing. My face hurts like I've been punched. My ears are kinda itchy and stopped up. My throat feels as if it is on fire. And I've started to cough.
I took Sudafed yesterday to no effect.
I took half a Mucinex today to try and kill some of the gunk.
I'm using saline nasal spray.
I'm gargling with warm salt water.
My shower today was full of steam.
And, I have to admit, I felt better than I do now earlier in the afternoon. Nights always seem to get me good. And with the weather changing back and forth and back and forth, I knew this was coming and was pleasantly surprised that I had missed this ... until now it seems. And I seriously don't know what to do to make this all stop. I am miserable. And half terrified I'm going to go into labor sick. I just hope, that by some miracle, I can start feeling better without the normal arsenal over over the counter drugs I use to fight this. And that it doesn't get any worse.
I took Sudafed yesterday to no effect.
I took half a Mucinex today to try and kill some of the gunk.
I'm using saline nasal spray.
I'm gargling with warm salt water.
My shower today was full of steam.
And, I have to admit, I felt better than I do now earlier in the afternoon. Nights always seem to get me good. And with the weather changing back and forth and back and forth, I knew this was coming and was pleasantly surprised that I had missed this ... until now it seems. And I seriously don't know what to do to make this all stop. I am miserable. And half terrified I'm going to go into labor sick. I just hope, that by some miracle, I can start feeling better without the normal arsenal over over the counter drugs I use to fight this. And that it doesn't get any worse.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
34 Weeks
So the sleep issue... has been taken to the couch. As in, I am now sleeping on the couch. I just can't get comfortable in bed and we have a sectional and a large pillow. So, that's where we are. On the couch I get up to pee less and I wake up in pain less, which all leads to more sleep. Which is nice. Even though I'm pretty cramped (the couch isn't that wide) and all the morning light wakes me up earlier, I'm still getting more sleep, so it all evens out.
And the last post was written at a bad time, I think - I've been feeling a lot better. And this happens with regularity - the babies grow, I stretch and am in pain for a couple days, then my body adjusts and I feel better. Granted, as they've been getting bigger, the painful periods have gotten a lot more painful (I now know exactly what they mean by the second trimester being the best feeling - it is so true).
It still feels like there's a lot to do, but I'm slowly ticking things off my list. I just finished thank you cards from the shower and am planning on getting those out this week. I also plan on finishing up the last of the shopping I need to do; and M and I plan on going car shopping this weekend. We still haven't found what we want and I'm really afraid that we may be stuck for a while without a car that will fit the stroller. I also really need to start laundry on all the sheets and clothes - its something I've been putting off but with it getting so close, I really need to get that done. I also need to finish packing my hospital bag. I got the cutest twin memory books (they're a little silly, but overall pretty freaking cute, and I love the twin part of it).
We finished up our Childbirth Preparedness class (I don't know that I feel that much more ready, but I don't suppose anything will make me feel more ready for that.) And today we have the Breastfeeding class. I hope I get valuable info from this class... and that M doesn't feel weird going. I hope there are other dads there.
Contractions have started back up again. I couldn't tell when I was having them before - my stomach would tighten but I was in so much pain anyway, it didn't feel much different other than the tightening. But now that I'm feeling better, the contractions are making themselves known. I had several last night and have had one this morning. I still don't feel as much from the little lady as I would like - he on the other hand is active all the time. I like to think that she is too, but facing the other way makes it harder to feel. I try not to stress about her too much - I usually end up feeling her.
And I'm really trying to not stress over something going wrong between now and delivery. That the babies are best when in me for now and that they'll be ok and make it through delivery with no problems. It almost seems easier to have them born via c-section - it seems like a smaller chance of something bad happening. And I know I'm copping to this because both babies are head down and the likelihood of a vaginal delivery is much greater - if it were the other way around, I'm sure I would be complaining about a c-section. I'm so fickle. But labor scares me.
And, I can't believe I'm already 34 weeks. Most likely we'll have babies within the next four weeks, and I would be ok with them coming anytime after 36 weeks. Which, as I can type that rationally and quite matter-of-factly, still baffles the hell out of me. It still feels quite unreal - this whole going to be a mother thing. Going to have two newborns at our house. Going to have children - little pieces of M and I to take care of and raise. Wow.
And the last post was written at a bad time, I think - I've been feeling a lot better. And this happens with regularity - the babies grow, I stretch and am in pain for a couple days, then my body adjusts and I feel better. Granted, as they've been getting bigger, the painful periods have gotten a lot more painful (I now know exactly what they mean by the second trimester being the best feeling - it is so true).
It still feels like there's a lot to do, but I'm slowly ticking things off my list. I just finished thank you cards from the shower and am planning on getting those out this week. I also plan on finishing up the last of the shopping I need to do; and M and I plan on going car shopping this weekend. We still haven't found what we want and I'm really afraid that we may be stuck for a while without a car that will fit the stroller. I also really need to start laundry on all the sheets and clothes - its something I've been putting off but with it getting so close, I really need to get that done. I also need to finish packing my hospital bag. I got the cutest twin memory books (they're a little silly, but overall pretty freaking cute, and I love the twin part of it).
We finished up our Childbirth Preparedness class (I don't know that I feel that much more ready, but I don't suppose anything will make me feel more ready for that.) And today we have the Breastfeeding class. I hope I get valuable info from this class... and that M doesn't feel weird going. I hope there are other dads there.
Contractions have started back up again. I couldn't tell when I was having them before - my stomach would tighten but I was in so much pain anyway, it didn't feel much different other than the tightening. But now that I'm feeling better, the contractions are making themselves known. I had several last night and have had one this morning. I still don't feel as much from the little lady as I would like - he on the other hand is active all the time. I like to think that she is too, but facing the other way makes it harder to feel. I try not to stress about her too much - I usually end up feeling her.
And I'm really trying to not stress over something going wrong between now and delivery. That the babies are best when in me for now and that they'll be ok and make it through delivery with no problems. It almost seems easier to have them born via c-section - it seems like a smaller chance of something bad happening. And I know I'm copping to this because both babies are head down and the likelihood of a vaginal delivery is much greater - if it were the other way around, I'm sure I would be complaining about a c-section. I'm so fickle. But labor scares me.
And, I can't believe I'm already 34 weeks. Most likely we'll have babies within the next four weeks, and I would be ok with them coming anytime after 36 weeks. Which, as I can type that rationally and quite matter-of-factly, still baffles the hell out of me. It still feels quite unreal - this whole going to be a mother thing. Going to have two newborns at our house. Going to have children - little pieces of M and I to take care of and raise. Wow.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Update! 33w5d
How far along? 33w5d
Total weight gain/loss: up 35 pounds or so...
Maternity clothes? Oh, yeah
Stretch marks? Oh, yeah
Sleep: I wish I could get some
Best moment this week: Making the list of What To Do Before Babies Come and marking some stuff off... and realizing that I will be 36w in like two weeks and freaking out a little bit
Movement: Oh, yeah.. and it hurts sometimes (they mess and poke with innards that should not be messed with or poked...)
Food cravings: None, really. I just eat what I want...
Gender: Still one boy, one girl
Labor Signs: some contractions
What I miss: Sleep and being pain free
What I am looking forward to: Sleep (please don't laugh at this... I am allowed to dream, right?) and being pain free
Seriously - notice a recurring theme here? The pain. Ohmygawd. It is hurting. All over my torso. My stomach muscles. My back. My sinuses. Fuckity fuck fuck. I can't even get comfortable laying on my side on the couch. It is hurt. But, all the pain is due to good news - we had a growth scan today and apparently the babies are big fatties - Girl is 6 pounds! Boy is 6 pounds 15 ounces!! That's like full term baby weights there. Everything else looked good - my massive looking cankles are normal, BP is fine, cervix is closed and babies are high (per the internal - the scan said they were low and both head down), so that's all good.
And it is no wonder I'm hurting - that's just about 13 pounds of baby in me. And man, do I feel for the other large baby peoples - the trip and quad mamas, the lady who had the 14 pound baby... man. I can't imagine how much bigger I'm going to get and how much bigger the babies are going to get. I really want to make it to 36 weeks at minimum but I know it will be a painful journey. And, to be clear - I'm thrilled the babies are doing so well. I couldn't ask for more - they seem healthy and are apparently eating well. So, that's awesome. But now I start to wonder if I should start worrying about 8 and 9 pound babies when I deliver... I have to admit the thought scares me a little - it seems like a painful delivery. And a painful last week or so.
Total weight gain/loss: up 35 pounds or so...
Maternity clothes? Oh, yeah
Stretch marks? Oh, yeah
Sleep: I wish I could get some
Best moment this week: Making the list of What To Do Before Babies Come and marking some stuff off... and realizing that I will be 36w in like two weeks and freaking out a little bit
Movement: Oh, yeah.. and it hurts sometimes (they mess and poke with innards that should not be messed with or poked...)
Food cravings: None, really. I just eat what I want...
Gender: Still one boy, one girl
Labor Signs: some contractions
What I miss: Sleep and being pain free
What I am looking forward to: Sleep (please don't laugh at this... I am allowed to dream, right?) and being pain free
Seriously - notice a recurring theme here? The pain. Ohmygawd. It is hurting. All over my torso. My stomach muscles. My back. My sinuses. Fuckity fuck fuck. I can't even get comfortable laying on my side on the couch. It is hurt. But, all the pain is due to good news - we had a growth scan today and apparently the babies are big fatties - Girl is 6 pounds! Boy is 6 pounds 15 ounces!! That's like full term baby weights there. Everything else looked good - my massive looking cankles are normal, BP is fine, cervix is closed and babies are high (per the internal - the scan said they were low and both head down), so that's all good.
And it is no wonder I'm hurting - that's just about 13 pounds of baby in me. And man, do I feel for the other large baby peoples - the trip and quad mamas, the lady who had the 14 pound baby... man. I can't imagine how much bigger I'm going to get and how much bigger the babies are going to get. I really want to make it to 36 weeks at minimum but I know it will be a painful journey. And, to be clear - I'm thrilled the babies are doing so well. I couldn't ask for more - they seem healthy and are apparently eating well. So, that's awesome. But now I start to wonder if I should start worrying about 8 and 9 pound babies when I deliver... I have to admit the thought scares me a little - it seems like a painful delivery. And a painful last week or so.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Our Baby Shower!
My baby shower was this weekend and it was AWESOME. My friend Jen threw it completely by herself for us (it was a coed shower) and it was great. We had about 50 adults there and some kids, my sister and nephew got to come down for it and we are so blessed and lucky to have so many people who are excited and supportive of us and these babies.
The theme was "Double Stuffed" so there were Oreos everywhere - the centerpieces had Oreos, the party favors were specialty Oreos, the cake was a giant Oreo; the colors were brown and some pink and blue... it was great. The food was awesome, the cake was chocolate fudge and super yummy... it was all great. And long. It started at 5 and we didn't leave until 9:30. I was very tired and after all the presents slept fitfully and dreamt of being at the shower and opening presents. My feet... were cankles. And sadly, I sat a good portion of the time! But the swelling was a little out of control.
The one complaint I have - and I know I sound like a total brat and I really don't mean to - I swear - I'm just frustrated at BRU and their registry. We got very little off our registries. Very little. Maybe 10 items. So, needless to say we still need a lot. A lot lot. And its because we moved recently and our address (including the city) changed (so maybe it's not all BRU's fault... but people who are moving soon, take note and spread the word). We heard several complaints of "We couldn't find your registry..." which is frustrating. Because people were very generous... incredibly generous... but we still need the things we need. So that will be a project for the weekend, or as soon as the registry completion coupon comes in. And we are now set for clothes for... the next 6-9 months. :)
Pictures!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Complain-y
Please do not read unless you like to hear me complain.
How is it that there is so much to do, yet I have zero energy to do it? And, its not like I work. I'm a total suck on the household and all I do is lay around all day and still manage to be exhausted. There's not a lot I can do, but doing nothing makes me feel... totally worthless.
And speaking of being a total suck... I will have to go back to work sooner than I anticipated. And it bums me out. Because its my fault we're in this position financially. If I had found a job, started subbing, done something to earn money... and I didn't and now we're in a tough spot. If I were working now. If I were getting paid maternity leave. M is totally stressed at work, but we need the money. We have to get a larger car (long story short, the stroller we got (an 'inexpensive' double as a gift) and doesn't fit in either of our cars) and to do that, we have to trade in M's car. M's car is much nicer than my car and is pretty freaking brand new. It still smells like a new car. And he's treated it so well. And my car, which is finally paid off, is the one he's going to have to drive now. And he doesn't deserve that, but we can't afford the second car payment. Again, it's my fault because if I had been working, we would be in a much better place. And, yes, the economy sucks, but let's be honest here - I could have done a lot more and tried a lot harder to get a job. And I let the IVF and then pregnancy, and then the selling and moving keep me from looking once that started. But before that - I could have and SHOULD have found a job. And now, at 30w5d pregnant, it's too late for that.
So blah. I suck. And I have no idea what I'm going to do, especially after these babies are born. Finding a job... fills me with total anxiety and scares me. What will I find? Will I be happy? How will I get back into the "work" mode with two babies at home? And how the hell am I going to have time for everything? And who will watch the babies? Agh. I'm really trying to appreciate that, although it causes financial strain, I am home now and I should appreciate the time I have to rest, relax and be by myself. But sometimes I hate myself for it. Especially when I do nothing all day but fight boredom. And have nothing to show for it.
How is it that there is so much to do, yet I have zero energy to do it? And, its not like I work. I'm a total suck on the household and all I do is lay around all day and still manage to be exhausted. There's not a lot I can do, but doing nothing makes me feel... totally worthless.
And speaking of being a total suck... I will have to go back to work sooner than I anticipated. And it bums me out. Because its my fault we're in this position financially. If I had found a job, started subbing, done something to earn money... and I didn't and now we're in a tough spot. If I were working now. If I were getting paid maternity leave. M is totally stressed at work, but we need the money. We have to get a larger car (long story short, the stroller we got (an 'inexpensive' double as a gift) and doesn't fit in either of our cars) and to do that, we have to trade in M's car. M's car is much nicer than my car and is pretty freaking brand new. It still smells like a new car. And he's treated it so well. And my car, which is finally paid off, is the one he's going to have to drive now. And he doesn't deserve that, but we can't afford the second car payment. Again, it's my fault because if I had been working, we would be in a much better place. And, yes, the economy sucks, but let's be honest here - I could have done a lot more and tried a lot harder to get a job. And I let the IVF and then pregnancy, and then the selling and moving keep me from looking once that started. But before that - I could have and SHOULD have found a job. And now, at 30w5d pregnant, it's too late for that.
So blah. I suck. And I have no idea what I'm going to do, especially after these babies are born. Finding a job... fills me with total anxiety and scares me. What will I find? Will I be happy? How will I get back into the "work" mode with two babies at home? And how the hell am I going to have time for everything? And who will watch the babies? Agh. I'm really trying to appreciate that, although it causes financial strain, I am home now and I should appreciate the time I have to rest, relax and be by myself. But sometimes I hate myself for it. Especially when I do nothing all day but fight boredom. And have nothing to show for it.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Because I Really Want This
I am writing a totally advertisement-al post on the ErgoBaby baby carrier. I have yet to use one, or even see one in real life, and thanks to having two babies coming, will not really be able to afford one on my own... but all the reviews I've read talk about how wonderful it is. Really, really wonderful. And since I would LOVE to carry a baby or two on me and or M, I would really love a comfortable carrier.
AND hopefully I'll win one from this giveaway! Wish me luck!
AND hopefully I'll win one from this giveaway! Wish me luck!
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